As a followup from the last post on Sensitivity and Emotions, a comment brought to my attention a related concept to this whole sensitivity thing: REACTIVITY.
In the world of Mental Health (i.e what it means to be human.... I digress), there's an imperative notion/technique/process known as Emotional Regulation (Lakehead University article, and a tip sheet for emotional regulation in regard to children and youth). You'll notice from the examples in the articles that Emotional Regulation is often referred to in the context of mental illness or a pertinent technique for maladaptive coping behaviours.
I'd like to argue that Emotional Regulation is something we can all aspire to and that it's essential for getting by in today's climate. Emotional Regulation gives the brain and body a chance to process incoming information, the resulting emotion(s), and deliver a response that is healthy. When something triggers a strong emotional response, some examples or techniques to regulate your emotions include:
-controlled breathing (for example: breathe in for 4 counts, breathe out for 4 counts)
-physical activity (punching bag, stress ball, yoga, running, going for a walk)
-journalling
-drawing/doodling
-talking to someone/venting
The key point about the above strategies is that they are to be implemented before a quick, visceral reaction is allowed to take place. These techniques give you a chance to react from a place of self-control. You can express your sensitivity, and if you self-regulate, you can stop your sensitivity from becoming an impulsive reaction.
Moreover, in light of the comment left on the last post asking about our society becoming "too sensitive," it's time to address the issue of what it means to actually be "too sensitive," or more accurately: what it means to be too reactive.
-controlled breathing (for example: breathe in for 4 counts, breathe out for 4 counts)
-physical activity (punching bag, stress ball, yoga, running, going for a walk)
-journalling
-drawing/doodling
-talking to someone/venting
The key point about the above strategies is that they are to be implemented before a quick, visceral reaction is allowed to take place. These techniques give you a chance to react from a place of self-control. You can express your sensitivity, and if you self-regulate, you can stop your sensitivity from becoming an impulsive reaction.
Moreover, in light of the comment left on the last post asking about our society becoming "too sensitive," it's time to address the issue of what it means to actually be "too sensitive," or more accurately: what it means to be too reactive.
There exists a perception pendulum for what is "normal" or "healthy" for everything in society. In the case of sensitivity, the pendulum has swung too far to the "NO FEELS AT ALL!!!!" zone, so anything deviating from being an un-emotional douchebag has become taboo. If a person shows emotion to other people, they are commonly perceived as weak. Unfortunately, this notion intertwines with negative views of the Feminine, but we'll have to cover that in another post someday.
Carrying on...
We need to embrace our ability and tendency to FEEL, because we are all human beings and not robots. Thank [enter your preferred deity here...for me, it's God]. I think spontaneous combustion is a possibility if we bottle up feelings too often.
Carrying on...
We need to embrace our ability and tendency to FEEL, because we are all human beings and not robots. Thank [enter your preferred deity here...for me, it's God]. I think spontaneous combustion is a possibility if we bottle up feelings too often.
That said, as posted above, there needs to be healthy and regulated expression of those feelings. To be clear: Sensitivity and reactivity are NOT the same thing. In the context of emotional responses to everyday life (for example: YouTube videos, conversations, jokes, news articles, Reddit.com posts, everything on the internet, etc.) someone may very well FEEL triggered or offended by something. That's ok and completely normal. Problems and unhealthy communication arise when impulsiveness mixes with the sensitivity and you get a quick reaction that affects other people (i.e. reactivity).
Everyone is guilty of that at some point (me, too!). We all know that situation: you see a video (or worse, a comment that smashes your buttons) and BAM! You're sounding off, either ALL-CAPS'ing your responses and/or seething at your desk, clenching your jaw, shaking your head, and sometimes slamming things down harder than you really need to be......All because of a wee comment made by some other random person on the internet.
With the ease of use of the internet and every social media platform, resources are readily available at your fingertips to put that reactivity on display for the world (literally). Those all-caps comments and responses are available for the world's viewing pleasure (or displeasure). Of course, you can sign back on in a flurry of regret and press delete. What have you learned, though? Nothing. Sure, you have the resources to retract statements that are written on the internet. You don't have that luxury in person or with other forms of communication (emails, texts, and so on). Companies like RIM and Google have implemented tools to retract BlackBerry Messenger messages and emails. All that teaches you is that you can dodge consequences for your reactivity..............sometimes. Instead of thinking before you send (or react) to something, you can spew whatever emotionally-charged dross you want, then retract your hastiness with a few clicks. Great. *insert eye roll*. Except when you can't, of course and that email is gone into the abyss forever.
With great power......
Everyone is guilty of that at some point (me, too!). We all know that situation: you see a video (or worse, a comment that smashes your buttons) and BAM! You're sounding off, either ALL-CAPS'ing your responses and/or seething at your desk, clenching your jaw, shaking your head, and sometimes slamming things down harder than you really need to be......All because of a wee comment made by some other random person on the internet.
With the ease of use of the internet and every social media platform, resources are readily available at your fingertips to put that reactivity on display for the world (literally). Those all-caps comments and responses are available for the world's viewing pleasure (or displeasure). Of course, you can sign back on in a flurry of regret and press delete. What have you learned, though? Nothing. Sure, you have the resources to retract statements that are written on the internet. You don't have that luxury in person or with other forms of communication (emails, texts, and so on). Companies like RIM and Google have implemented tools to retract BlackBerry Messenger messages and emails. All that teaches you is that you can dodge consequences for your reactivity..............sometimes. Instead of thinking before you send (or react) to something, you can spew whatever emotionally-charged dross you want, then retract your hastiness with a few clicks. Great. *insert eye roll*. Except when you can't, of course and that email is gone into the abyss forever.
With great power......
Truly, though, with this expansive resource in front of us (i.e. the Interwebs), with millions of articles on topics of interest, we have an opportunity as a society to connect and discuss things that we couldn't years ago--or at least not as quickly. We have the opportunity to share how we feel and think about issues that matter to us.
Like any communication, though, it's our responsibility to:
1) own our feelings,
and
2) own our WORDS, and therefore
3) own our reactions.
We are responsible for how we express our emotions. Hence, it is perfectly ok to scream into a pillow if you're pissed off about something (an article, coworker, whatever). However, it's not ok to scream at someone. The same goes for it being ok to come up with a blog or comment or other social media post about something you're passionate about, but it's BEST to NOT do so until you've thought about who your words will impact--including yourself. After all, while it's nice to protect others' sensibilities, this is ultimately about your own health and well-being. Your sense of self-regulation and self-control will only benefit yourself and then others. Through self-regulation, you'll feel better about your responses, you probably won't regret things you say and/or do, and you likely won't get punched in the face (literally or figuratively).
Again, we're all guilty of rage-posting or rage-commenting here and there (and again, me included in that). For overall health and well-being, it's necessary to be responsible about it.
Like any communication, though, it's our responsibility to:
1) own our feelings,
and
2) own our WORDS, and therefore
3) own our reactions.
We are responsible for how we express our emotions. Hence, it is perfectly ok to scream into a pillow if you're pissed off about something (an article, coworker, whatever). However, it's not ok to scream at someone. The same goes for it being ok to come up with a blog or comment or other social media post about something you're passionate about, but it's BEST to NOT do so until you've thought about who your words will impact--including yourself. After all, while it's nice to protect others' sensibilities, this is ultimately about your own health and well-being. Your sense of self-regulation and self-control will only benefit yourself and then others. Through self-regulation, you'll feel better about your responses, you probably won't regret things you say and/or do, and you likely won't get punched in the face (literally or figuratively).
Again, we're all guilty of rage-posting or rage-commenting here and there (and again, me included in that). For overall health and well-being, it's necessary to be responsible about it.
That whole responsibility thing is not so prominent, sadly. I think society is potentially becoming too reactive, instead of sensitive. We often run with low quality info in lieu of good quality research or facts. We run with what makes us burn or laugh, which isn't wrong, per se, but it's too easy to do so carelessly and frequently. That frequency and ease is a dangerous combination which leads to chronic ill reactions. Reactivity is detrimental when it is chronic.
Before you pay special attention to how to retract messages on BBM or your Gmail, consider paying special attention to how you feel before you write a damn word. Why not make it a habit/rule/ritual/quest (for the nerds out there...where you at?!) to ALWAYS stop and think before responding to something that gives you the feels. When you feel indifference, proceed. When you feel anything that makes you think and act differently than a minute ago, take a breather or go for a walk or something. Come back, and write your response. Most importantly: be prepared for the consequences, as there will be consequences. This doesn't mean it will always be bad consequences, but for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction (nice little ELI5 moment there).
All in all, balance those wonderful human emotions with some sensibility, please. Let's not let the pendulum of "too much" or "too little" emotion swing to either extreme. Give your brain a chance to process and respond with some thought behind your words and/or actions. Or else THIS may happen....
Stay safe and happy, folks :D
Before you pay special attention to how to retract messages on BBM or your Gmail, consider paying special attention to how you feel before you write a damn word. Why not make it a habit/rule/ritual/quest (for the nerds out there...where you at?!) to ALWAYS stop and think before responding to something that gives you the feels. When you feel indifference, proceed. When you feel anything that makes you think and act differently than a minute ago, take a breather or go for a walk or something. Come back, and write your response. Most importantly: be prepared for the consequences, as there will be consequences. This doesn't mean it will always be bad consequences, but for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction (nice little ELI5 moment there).
All in all, balance those wonderful human emotions with some sensibility, please. Let's not let the pendulum of "too much" or "too little" emotion swing to either extreme. Give your brain a chance to process and respond with some thought behind your words and/or actions. Or else THIS may happen....
Stay safe and happy, folks :D
