In case you were wondering...

  Hey y'all. 

Deep breath. I've found myself holding mine at times so sigh that shit out. 

Ok! I wanted to get real with y'all about where I stand on the pandemic these days and why that could even matter to you ("you" being people who want to know, and no hard feelings if you don't care). 

First off, I have fibromyalgia, which means I have chronic pain, chronic debilitating fatigue and a host of other symptoms that I won't go into. I also have a few other diagnoses that complicate things, but that's perhaps for another time. What you need to know is that I have been and will always be careful because if I catch Covid, it'll be twice as painful for me. That's how my illness works. A classic cold? I feel it twice as hard as I did when I wasn't chronically ill. 

What's more, my partner is immunocompromised. Before Covid, I've taken him to the hospital for simple things like a flu or food poisoning, unsure if he'd make it out. Most of us don't need hospitalization for flu or food poisoning but he has. So yes: I support vaccines and I'll be as careful as I can around Covid. My mom and stepdad are also in their 70s and both have health conditions that would make Covid or even the flu dangerous for them both. 

So. That's why I am careful. 

That's also why I can't stand nor tolerate staunch anti-vaxxers. Staunch anti-vaxxers are the result of fear, privilege, misinformation and wilful ignorance.  This blog isn't for those people. To you, I simply say: "Next!"

This blog is for those people who are partially vaccinated and perhaps confused about boosters, or angry or frustrated or exhausted about how the pandemic is being handled by our government and public health officials. I haven't been open to many conversations about vaccines and health care because I've been busy trying to survive, vigilant in keeping myself and my partner safe, keeping up with personal growth in healing trauma and antiracism education. I also have wanted to amplify the science of vaccines and the life saving benefits that the vaccine has afforded all of us. 

However, there are very valid concerns that a lot of you are having about health measures, lockdowns, government action or inaction and you have nowhere to put that concern. Some people reacted to their concerns by aligning with the freedom convoy; which, by the way, the convoy was never about truckers and never about freedom. It was about white nationalism. Period. Covid caused supply chain issues and inflation. Not vaccines or vaccine mandates. Almost 90% of the truckers are vaccinated and haven't been affected by mandates in the way the convoy has spun the narrative. 

But many people did NOT align with the convoy for white supremacy "freedom," and are simply exhausted, scared, and unsure what to do. Who can blame you? We've been told we all matter by the government, yet the most recent wave of omicron showed us that workers were expected to suck it up and go back to work without extra sick pay or support. We've been told that we're all in this together, yet vulnerable populations are still hit hardest by this virus. Those who identify as women or who have uteri, struggle with the implications of a vaccine and/or Covid itself on their cycles and on fertility. And we all know that health care loves to educate openly about women's health (enter sarcastic eye roll here). Small businesses that have NOT been high transmission locations were all but punished during subsequent lockdowns while big corporations and malls were privileged/prioritized over those small businesses. Mental and physical health were thrown out the window, even when the science said that it was ok to keep those spaces open in a smart, controlled way. It's frustrating as f*ck. There. I said it. 

So. What do you/we do about all of this? I know you feel powerless. We all have to some degree during this slog. I promise you, you're not powerless. If I can stay connected, engage in activism (petitions, amplifying advocates voices, calling campaigns, letter writing, email writing etc) than you can too. You also can work on owning your own emotions, practising self-compassion and grounding, and learning to be less reactive. What's more, there's information out there and people actually willing to listen about hesitancy and all of your concerns. 

For example, if you're women-identifying and worried about fertility or menstruation and the vaccine, check out Dr Jen Gunter on Instagram and her blog because she's a compassionate, badass ObGyn who has shared countless facts about the vaccine and health implications (hint, it's safe). Don't take my word for it though. Take hers, or better yet, the advice of someone else you trust. If you can't find someone, talk to a therapist (most are doing virtual appointments, which is super convenient!). Talk to a friend and make it your mission to search out sound, peer reviewed (scientific journals) on topics you're concerned about. 

If you're pissed about mandates, lockdowns, etc... get your typing fingers ready or arm yourself with a pen!! Write to YOUR ELECTED OFFICIALS to lobby for change you want to see. I cannot stress this enough.

It helps to also get clear about what's actually bugging you, take some deep, grounding breaths, engage who you think is appropriate (your mp, your MPP, etc), and rest when you need to. Rest is not a luxury: it's a necessity.

Hell, if we're friends, you can talk to me! I may not be able to physically do a lot these days but I can listen and talk (within reasonable limits, of course :). Fibro does rob me of energy in many ways, but I can text like a mothereffer.).

I'm not open to or tolerant of someone wanting to school me on how vaccines are gene therapy, or how the pandemic is a scam, or that my calling the convoy racist is me being "divisive." I got zero space and f*cks for that nonsense. Calling out racism isn't divisive: racism and white supremacy are divisive. (that's right: I underlined, italicized AND bolded that shit!)

Conversations between friends or acquaintances can be incredibly healing and a powerful agent of growth in the human spirit and psyche. I realize I may seem closed off to some of you who have concerns about vaccines or mandates because I've been both vocal about vaccines and hunkered down because of my husband's and my health issues. This is why I'm writing this blog. I want you to know that I want to see you and hear you. 

Let me level with y'all some more:

I'm tired of racists and racist apologists not being held accountable. 

I'm tired of feeling scared for my husband's life when i see people who I thought were decent subscribe to conspiracy theories and throw all scientific integrity and recommendations out the window. 

I'm tired for the vulnerable people who don't have access to basic needs, let alone health care and who are being ignored because some loud, idiotic voices are being privileged over theirs. This extends to health care workers who are being blocked, harassed, assaulted and terrorized when trying to do life-saving work.

I'm tired of BIR (Black, Indigenous and Racialized folks'), small businesses and women-identifying folks being squashed under the weight of racism, misogyny, corporate greed, and unfair working wages and environments. And, for not getting any reparations even when there was supposed to be government assistance. 

So I'm sure I'm not alone in those tired things. We're all exhausted, and while we may not fit into the exact same exhaustion topic boxes, we definitely have overlapping Venn diagrams! 

My invitation is to the following people: people who are struggling with genuine concerns about Covid and the vaccine, people who believe in health mandates but are frustrated with how they're being created and implemented, people exhausted from racism and white supremacy, and people who are exhausted from being scared all the time of this virus.. I'm here. Not 24/7 because I've gotta take care of my own sanity and health (chronic illness is a full time job). But hit up my DMS or text me. Check out Dr. Jen Gunter if you're curious about women's issues and the vaccine (or women's health in general!). Read sound studies. Talk to someone you trust. Ground. All throughout the day. 

That's what we'll end on: let's ground together. This is something you can do multiple times throughout the day, and I HIGHLY encourage you to. 

• Whether you're sitting, standing, in a wheel chair or lying down, focus on your feet. 
• Breathing in through the nose, out through the mouth, imagine roots growing from the feet into the ground, through floors, foundation, the earth, the crust. 
• Keep breathing, in through the nose out through the mouth. 
• As you imagine these roots growing longer and farther down, they're growing stronger. 
• You are growing stronger. 
• Keep breathing. When the mind wanders (and it will :)), gently refocus on the breath. 
• Clench the hands into fists a couple of times and release.
• Take another yummy breath and voila! 

Thank you for listening/reading, and for being you. Stay safe and warm, folks. 

Moving on, vs Moving with

holistically: emotional

I've got skills. Maybe not Liam Neeson-level skills, but I have some useful ones. I have skills and knowledge that assist me with helping others. This same skillset supposedly helps myself, too. If someone wants help with breathing techniques when they feel anxious? I know how to find helpful tools. If someone's feeling squirrelly after something huge and upsetting? I know how to normalize what they're feeling (because other people feel those huge, earth-shaking emotions, too in the face of trauma).

If you're a helping professional and/or work in the human services, do you ever have trouble reconciling your own knowledge with what you're feeling? As in, "my rational, professional knowledge base tells me that it is normal to feel [enter emotion here] based on this situation. Why did this hit me so hard, then? I knew it was coming?!" Oh yeah. Helping professional or not: we're all human. That's why. Doh!

Life has been quite the learning experience lately during my schooling while I'm recovering from grief. And other loss, too. Loss from long ago, loss of parts of my identity, and loss due to a couple life changes. I've had incredible supports, and I'm ok most of the time. Even when I'm shaken or raw, I'm still ok, just less so. Life has been a rollercoaster in learning how to live it in a new context (school) that's somewhat familiar (I've been in school before) but altogether different for me, as I'm a different person this time around.

Let me turn the lens to something else for a moment: there exists copious literature on how to process and deal with grief (and a plethora of other upsetting issues). Just do a Google search (though I warn you of the quality of some articles....................) Seek professional help when possible or at least professional advice to suss out the dross from the actually helpful.

However, there also exists an overarching pressure to "get over" or to "move on" from these upsetting things. Sure, you can ugly cry RIGHT AFTER you lose someone, but what about 2 months down the road? 1 year? 2 years? 10 years?

As a helping professional, I'd tell you: "ugly cry all you want. In fact, let's simply call it crying. It's normal and actually potentially healing to cry (hard or not) when you feel like crap."

As a human in North America, I would feel embarrassed, ashamed, and "crazy" for crying hard over a loss that happened more than a couple months ago. Why, though?

There's the crux of the issue: sure, you're ok to be stuck in pain right after a loss, but when the rest of the world around you has "moved on," it's assumed that you have, too. Most of us know, however, that that's bullshit.

I'd like to offer an alternative discourse: a discourse of moving with. With whom, might you ask? The person you've lost. Carry them with you. A friend of mine reminded me of something I knew in the dark, dusty corners of my brain but had forgotten: the importance of ritual and honouring a lost loved one. Do this.

If the loss was complicated, however, ignore what I just said and seek some professional help in aiding you with your maelstrom of feelings. That's a topic for another time. Grief is messy. Complicated grief is even messier. They're not on a hierarchy, really, but are more like apples and oranges in a fruit basket of pain. Grief (the apple) is difficult to crunch and digest, but there's a relatively expected/known method to eating and processing the fruit. Complicated grief (the orange) can explode, sting your lips if your skin is dried out, it doesn't open properly if the peel is on there too damn tightly, and it can surprise you with crunchy seeds when you least expect it. It takes forever to peel and eat an orange most of the time, doesn't it (if it doesn't for you, then think of another complicated fruit....pomegranate maybe?).

Again, that's a topic for another time.

If you've lost someone you deeply cared for, do your best to dissipate the pressures of getting over it when it seems everyone else has. I'd argue that "everyone else" likely hasn't completely, either, even if it seems like it. Honour your feelings. Cry your heart out when you need to. Bring your loved one along in your proverbial pocket to the good times and bad times ahead. If there are celebrations coming up that meant a lot for you and that loved one, do something to remember them. Light a candle, eat a cookie or candy they liked (thanks my friend for that suggestion), pray to them, write about them, go play a game outside (basketball? soccer? wall-ball?) or go for a walk. The options are endless but need to be meaningful to you.

Take your time. As familiar as an apple is, it can still surprise you. Has anyone ever found a worm in theirs before? I haven't. Happened with a peach once, though. That was unfortunate. I digress. Even if the apple is something you know about, you still need to take your time. It sucks to get apple chunks lodged in your throat, so chew it slowly, process it bit by bit--however long that takes. But, here's the parallel challenge: live your damn life.

It'll feel awkward and painful to be happy or content sometimes. That's normal. It's also imperative, then, to enjoy moments, occasions, rise up to challenges life hands you WITH THE OTHER PERSON. Bring them along. You can't leave them at home, or at the grave, or in the dark recesses of your mind where your skeletons hide with dust and cobwebs building up. They'll haunt you (they probably hate cobwebs as much as you do). Bring them into the daylight with you. Carry them in your heart. Acknowledge their presence and live your life.

Easier said than done, but in truth: we're all in this together. We don't leave a soldier behind, right? We've got to carry each other, in life or in death, because a person's impact does not extinguish in physical death. It simply changes. Move with that person in your life: don't move on.

Grief

holistically: emotional
and everything else

Have you seen the movie Homeward Bound? If you have, good on you. If you haven't, then I suggest you either watch it or continue under the warning that there are some spoilers. You were warned.
You were.

Remember the scene where Shadow gets stuck in that awful mud hole? He whimpers and paws frantically to get out of it while his companions try to help him, but he falls clumsily back into the mire for what seems like forever?

That's grief.

You paw and claw out of the muck and mire but you slide back down and fall on your ass. Yup. It's messy, unpredictable, but you know it's a tough mothertrucker to get out of. There is no formula, rhyme or reason.Your friends and family worry about you getting out and try wonderful and sometimes silly things to help you out. Or they're in there with you, fighting the (not so) good fight.  If they're on the outside, they'll shout suggestions, commands, encouragements, declarations of love, concern, sometimes even anger... "GET OUT!" "YOU CAN DO IT!" "KEEP TRYING!"

In case you hadn't guessed or don't know me, I'm currently grieving. I've been through this before, as many of you have, but I'm an adult this time around. The difference between then and now? Swearwords and alcohol are available (allowed).

My first dance with grief started when I was 7 years old. I've grown older since then and hopefully somewhat wiser. However, grief doesn't give a shit. It throws you into a pit and makes you feel like that scared, helpless 7 year old (except with a bottle of tequila in your grasp). The mud starts to dry up with each happy moment or memory, and you think you have enough traction to climb out. Sadness creeps in and starts to make it rain. Bye bye traction. Or maybe anger sweeps in, makes it pour, makes it rain ice pellets that you can't escape from. All you can do is sit or stand there and scream. You're not getting out today.

Then the happy memories come back... the hope. Whether or not the sun comes out, it has at least stopped raining long enough to catch your breath. You don't quite feel like "you" yet, but you don't feel like a worthless piece of shit, either.

I don't know if you remember in the movie, but Shadow makes it out. How? No idea. Some may say it got dry enough for him to climb, others may say a stick or board was there that helped him, still others may say "dog magic" or "who cares?!". The point is, he made it out (much to his family's joyous relief). Shadow survived.

Ironic name, really: Shadow. Grief does stick with you once you're out of the pit like a shadow. But I digress.

Shadow climbed out of the pit. You can climb out of grief.

Unfortunately, as this isn't the world of voice-over animals who survive amazing (impossible?) odds, there won't be a music cue or time limit on a film reel to tell you when you'll get out of the pit. The "when" isn't the point, actually. "If" is the point.

Will you make it out?

For those of you who've been through loss and grief, you clearly made it out. Even if you're still muddy years after, you made it out. So did I. Let's not analyze our performance too much, ok? Let's just give this a pass/fail. We're alive. That's a pass!

I'll climb out of this one. One day [insert emo face here]

In case you hadn't noticed, I also use humour as a coping mechanism.

Carrying on: being an adult is simultaneously helpful and maddening for dealing with grief. It's helpful in the ways I've already mentioned (larger vocabulary and access to sweet sweet scotch), but maddening in that your logic can name all the feelings you're going through and the stages of grief, but it matters ZERO PERCENT. Your feelings certainly don't give a shit. They hit, smack, kick, tickle, slap, punch, and stab you whenever they want, however they want, and for however long they want. You can name them all you want: it won't matter. They're still comin'.

This is normal. Remember that.

So what do you do to avoid grief? You don't. Sorry.

But you can do something radical once you're in the pit. Be kind to yourself. Feel the feelings. Take it hour by hour or minute by minute if you have to. Yes, the pain can be strong enough to make you want to do horrible things or numb up and waste away. Like phobias, the best way to deal with grief is to feel it and face it. It sucks. I'm not going to sugarcoat that. As for your onlookers, cheering squad, mockers, whoever: pay attention to the ones who love you and who you love. These are the ones who "get it." They likely have been through grief before, too. They don't make your pain about them or your grieving process about them. It's your ass in the pit: not theirs.

There will be those people who give you hope through it all, which will feel impossible until you feel them near. I hope you experience this if you have to go through this at all. They're earth angels. They'll be there for you no matter how messy you get. Chances are, they've been where you are. They'll let you be who you are, feel what you feel, and only interfere when you start digging yourself into a dangerous place from which you may not return.

Listen to those people.

There will be people who mean well but who don't know how to deal with other people in pain. That's their cross to bear: not yours. This doesn't make them bad or wrong; it simply means that you don't need to expend what little energy you'll have on them. That's ok.

You'll make it out. Keep going. Climb. Or just sit and bark a lot until you get bored, the music in your head swells like the ending of a movie, and you magic your way to higher ground. I won't judge. My cats are sometimes my greatest therapists, so really. I can't judge.

Good luck to you. I'm done pawing at the muddy walls for the day. Time for a break before I go at 'er again tomorrow.

On Sensitivity and Emotions

holistically: mindful

Sensitivity--or in this case, the state of being deeply emotional both inwardly and through outward expression--is usually seen as weakness. The word "sensitivity" itself is usually interpreted as being "easily hurt" or offended--a trait considered very undesirable. Check out the Dictionary.com definition, for example.

"Don't be so sensitive!"

"Suck it up!"

"Get over it!"

Sound familiar? Well, it seems like our society is obsessed with always moving forward--with bulldozing emotional response for the sake of productivity, efficiency, and in all reality, for the sake of not making others uncomfortable with our own uncomfortable emotions.

As soon as we step into the realm of emotional experience and expression, we step into the stigma surrounding the idea that being "emotional" is weak--that it's bad. Well guess what: humans are emotional beings. We all experience emotion.

Yes, some emotions can feel negative and can have negative effects. Anger, sadness, grief come to mind. However, the negative effects that these emotions can have are contingent on how we express them--on how we use them. What the heck do I mean??

If you're angry about something, then you're angry about something. There is ZERO wrong with acknowledging that. Being sensitive in this case and showing your anger is NOT wrong. It boils down to the "how" of it all, though...

For argument's sake, let's look at an example, shall we? A co-worker shirks his/her responsibility to do a task that is theirs to do. You end up having to do it and to have it done.....yesterday. If you're angry about this, that's OK. What if you go and punch your co-worker? That's not ok. That's a negative effect (if I do say so myself). What if you go and yell at your co-worker? That's also not ok and another negative effect that will spawn other negative effects like a virus (or like this chain reaction, though not as cute). .

But what if you go for a walk? Breathe heavily in your office for a bit or in the bathroom? What if you write down everything you're feeling/thinking (even if the f-word comes up every second word)? What if you wait until you're somewhere you can punch a pillow or an actual boxing bag? Or, simply, what if you go somewhere safe and swear, scream, flail, yell "I'M SO ANGRY" for a few seconds until you're calm?

ALL OK!

That's right: that would all be ok. Know why? Because you're not storing that negative, angry energy and thoughts in your mind and body. Regardless of the actions that need to be done, how you perceive the action/task will be the deciding factor in your own health. To clarify: if you decide that you need to do that task that your co-worker tossed onto your shoulders, then do it. But that doesn't mean you have to like it, and it does not mean that you're not allowed to be angry. So be angry. But let that anger out in a way that does not hurt yourself or another person, and find a way to move on.

BONUS: if you can find a way to talk to your co-worker about this issue, even better. But this needs to happen after your jets are settled and you feel like a cool cucumber.

Example number two: your pet passes away and you aren't able to talk to a friend/spouse/family member yet about it, but you're really, really upset. You feel it building up and are almost not able to "keep it together" around other people. Please be kind to yourself and do something about that sadness. It's perfectly OK to cry for 5 minutes straight (or however long you need) in a safe location. Again, you could also scribble down what you're thinking/feeling, even if it doesn't make sense. Sadness and grief can be complicated. There are different ebbs and flows of how you experience grief. Allow yourself those feelings and thoughts that accompany grief, and do your best to communicate your needs with your loved ones and friends. If you're in healthy relationships with your loved ones, they'll understand the boundaries you need around grief (especially those people who have experienced loss themselves).

If you do not have anyone you trust to talk to, there are resources out there. Counsellors, phone lines, websites, oh my! For London, Ontario, this is good place to start.

What happens if you chronically (i.e. frequently and/or over an extended amount of time) do NOT express emotion--especially "negative" ones?

Lots. And it ain't good.

To list a few things that could be present (not all at once, though)... *drum roll*

Physically***:
-IBS (irritable bowel syndrome)
-high blood pressure
-other digestive upset
-hormonal imbalance
-trouble sleeping
-heart issues
-exhaustion
many others

Mentally***:
-brain fog
-scattered thought
-repetitive thoughts and/or memories
-"obsessing" about certain thoughts or memories
-anxious "what if" thinking

Emotionally and Mood***:

-Irritability
-withdrawing
-anxiety
-depression
-mood swings
-feelings of inadequacy
-feelings of unfairness and/or not being "heard"
-fight-or-flight
-aggression

***NOTE: this is NOT a diagnostic tool, nor should it be used in place of professional medical advice. Please see a doctor or other helping professional if you have questions or concerns about any of the above, or any symptoms/issues not listed here.***

Where do we go from here??? Is sensitivity good or bad??? It's good, right??

It's dangerous to think in terms of black and white: to consider sensitivity a "good" or "bad" thing.

So far, we've looked at why sensitivity is NOT a bad thing and why the only thing that's "bad" is keeping your emotions inside and letting them build. However, the absence of something bad is not necessarily equal to "good." It's not "good" to run away with all of your emotions, either.

Again, what do we do??

Get ready because I'm about to talk about the "b" word: BaLaNcE.

Be sensitive...but balance that shit with healthy expressions of your strong emotions. Let the anger out. Let the joy out. You're a human being, and human beings are built with a broad range and intensity of emotions. There's nothing wrong with feeling and showing your feelings. You're not a wuss or weak if you show emotion. That's some sexist bullshit right there, but we may address that on another day...

When in doubt, LET IT OUT.

Other reading: Emotion Suppression Effects on Mental and Physical Health
Emotion Suppression and Rebound Effect (Emotion Regulation)
Bottling Emotions and Associated Health Risks
Emotion Suppression and Effects on Relationships
Repression and its Effects
Suppression and Depression
Holistic View of Emotional Suppression and its Effects
Anger Suppression and Health

And for fun:
Buzzfeed: 26 Signs You're a Highly Sensitive Person
Huffington Post: 16 Habits of Highly Sensitive People

Zee's, Zed's--however you say it, it's one of my favourite things!

holistically: physical

"What the heck is she talking about?!" (I assume you're asking yourself.)

Glad you asked! I'm talking about sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep (or "sleep," as it's better known).

Before he passed, my dad used to say that being tired makes everything feel worse. As a kid, I didn't really understand it, nor did I think being tired applied to anything worthwhile in life. I pretty much thought that I could eat, sleep, play, sing, dance, pull heads off of Barbies (not my proudest moments) when I felt like it. Nap time? Who wants that as a child?!

Now, as an adult, I can recall many times when my mom told me that very same thing and how true it has felt over the years. Being tired sucks (for lack of a better term)! I crave naps, or simply a good, hearty sleep for more than 5 hours.

But how much sleep do we actually need as humans**? It's a topic that has been debated, refuted re-instated (as you'll see in the various sources below). Obviously, there is no "one size fits all" for humans. There are general guidelines, though, especially when Science is involved. Take ASAPScience, for example: these guys use Science to teach audience members/viewers about common-interest topics in a researched, valid way. They actually did a video on sleep, entitled "How Much Sleep Do You Actually Need?" (appropriate topic, non?).

Through research , they help viewers discover how much sleep is ideal for certain levels of functioning. Note that I did not say "how much sleep is needed by all....period." While simple, the research method used in the video helps us to understand that various amounts of sleep will have various effects on our brain, affect (mood), and basic functioning. This certainly sparked my interest and I do keep it in mind when I go to bedfordshire.

Being asleep is great and all, but what if you can't fall (or stay?!) asleep? Stress (along with other basic factors) affects sleep, falling asleep, and staying asleep. I believe that's a pretty well-known idea, but it's worth re-stating. It is easy to forget or to not think of simpler, "every-day" reasons for uncomfortable, annoying problems (like insomnia). Having trouble falling or staying asleep is potentially quite detrimental to your holistic health (mind, body, spirit). As stated above, insomnia, having trouble falling asleep, and/or staying asleep all affect your mind, body, and mood (and spirit). (For more information on insomnia and its effects, you may click here or here).

Have you ever had those nights where you are so tired so you lie down, fully expecting to fall asleep, and then stay awake for 30 minutes...1 hour...drift off for a bit then wake up again? How unpleasant. What the heck can you do if that's a frequent situation?

Well, for starters, go see a doctor if you have not done so in months. It's always wise to rule out any organic issues via blood tests, asking questions, and advocating for your own health. If everything returns "normal" but you're still having troubles sometimes, there are some simple tips that have worked for myself, and plenty of articles out there with recipes for falling asleep effectively.

Ashley's tips:

• DARKNESS: who can identify with noticing the subtle glow from their cellphone, the more glaring glow from an alarm clock, the unhealthy glow creeping in from the crack between the window and curtain while going to bed at night? I ended up buying an eye mask (from Amazon Canada) to help me sleep better. And it helps! I don't use the ear plus included, but that's up to you :) 
• MEDITATION: ok. I almost cringe when I see this listed anywhere, too, because it does sound like a buzzword these days. Please trust me that it does work! As stated in the previous post, using a quick, simple 10 minute guided meditation before bed works wonders. If I'm super stressed, doing 2 in a row is magical. I lie there, in the dark and breathe. The trick is that if your mind wanders at all, to simply notice those thoughts, say "thanks for that" to your thoughts, then focus back on your breathing. Again, my fave meditations to use are by Positive Magazine. 
• SOOTHING SOUNDS: crickets by the lake, waves, rain falling, waterfalls, white noise--whatever you find soothing, there's likely a Youtube video or an app for that! 
• BE DILIGENT but SUPER KIND TO YOURSELF: If you know you have to get up at 6am, aim (as best you can) to get to bed by 9:45ish to try to fall asleep for 10pm. This is if you know you do well with 8 hours. Try with 7 hours for a week first, if 8 hours is just not feasible. If you're a morning workout person, please be kind to yourself. You need energy in order to work out. You can harm yourself and actually set yourself back if you work out when you're exhausted. No, that doesn't mean skip your workouts or some form of exercise all week, but don't push yourself if you're already exhausted. Know thyself :) Forgive thyself. 
• AWESOME PILLOW: the fiancé and I bought memory foam pillows (example). We bought ours from Groupon, but I'm sure there are lots of choices out there. They claim to do backflips and miracles. We find them to be supportive on the neck, head, and help with improving back alignment. As someone who has low back issues, the pillow has been a great help. My previous pillow was much too soft and bothered my shoulders because of it. 

Other tips***:

• Shut off electronics 
• Make sure your room is a comfy temperature (not too hot, not too cold) 
• LAY OFF CAFFEINE....in the afternoon/evening, anyway 
• LAY OFF ALCOHOL....right before bed 
• Try not to smoke too close to bedtime, too (the nicotine can keep you from sleeping right away) 
• Do some puzzles or mental exercises (math, Su Doku, word searches) 
• Wear socks (but again, make sure your room temperature is comfortable) 

NOTE and DISCLAIMER:

If you're having serious issues falling asleep every night, taking medications to help you sleep, falling asleep at work/school, feeling sick all the time... GO BACK TO YOUR DOCTOR. Please advocate for yourself or bring a trusted friend with you to the doctor to help you ask questions. There could be serious problems that are causing your insomnia and keeping you from sleeping. For a simple, comprehensive list of potential causes for insomnia, please click on the Sleep Foundation's article.

On a more fun note, I sincerely encourage you to check out ASAPScience's other videos. They are seriously educational and more importantly, enjoyable :).

SOURCES:

**http://sleepfoundation.org/how-sleep-works/how-much-sleep-do-we-really-need
**http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/features/adult-sleep-needs-and-habits
**http://www.cdc.gov/sleep/about_sleep/how_much_sleep.htm
**http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-christopher-winter/sleep_b_2084339.html

***http://www.livescience.com/35920-tips-for-good-sleep.html
***http://lifehacker.com/what-should-i-do-when-i-cant-fall-asleep-1533434286

There's a website for that

holistically: mindful

Hello Interwebs

Just your friendly neighbourhood Social Work-esque blogger here.

We all know the phrase: "there's an app for that" (thanks, Apple).  Well, I believe that there is also a website for most things in life: cooking, loving, clothes, how-to's, organization, self-help, gadgets, gaming, resources, informational pages, etc. etc. etc.  If you've thought of it, there probably is a website for it.

Which brings me to my quest for "what will I resolve to do this year" (i.e. cliché New Year's resolution stuff). I'm not a fan of clichéd tasks, really: having a New Year's resolution feels uninspired and unauthentic.  Why?  Because we're force-fed resolutions by a plethora of sources (media, companies, advertising) that we "should" strive for: lose weight! look younger! get fit! be more [insert whatever trait society deems successful, beautiful, sexy, desirable, etc.]!  Not much room for change or creativity, eh?

Having said all that, I do see value in striving for self-betterment.  I believe in working on thyself and for thyself.  If you can't be your own employee, then whose can you be?

What does this all have to do with websites and the interwebs, you ask?

Everything *insert Inception noise here*

This is simply a start, folks, but while I was searching for ways to de-stress this year, I came across two websites (told ya this had something to do with websites!) that sparked my interest.

The first is through the Chopra Center.  Yes, I am referring to the Oprah-touted spiritual leader's website/community.  The specific program I'm referring to is called "De-Stress Your Mind and Body ... in 10 Days." (Catchy, non?)

So far, I'm on day seven.....ish (there's been a day or two in between each task for me), and I have been given small tasks to do each day.  They have been manageable and pleasant.  For example, one of the day's tasks was to be still and basically meditate for 10 minutes. Done and done!  With the astounding number of apps and websites dedicated to timers and guided meditations, you can find a way to do 10 minutes of meditation.

The 10-day program does center around Ayurvedic medicine, or the balance of mind, body and environment: http://doshaquiz.chopra.com/.   The beginning of the program starts out with this quiz, identifying which area(s) of your "self" is (are) out of balance.  This is not to pathologize, but moreso to identify where you may be needing to balance and channel your energy.  For me, my mind is in stressville, and my body is "heavy" with stress, congestion, sluggishness.. Fun, eh?

Something to note: your results can change from day-to-day.  For science's sake, I may do this over 3 random days and see what results come up the most.  Yay, science!

One of the main tips I keep getting from various resources over the last couple of years is to "be still".  In what way?  Well, by doing yoga, meditating, breathing (breathing is always good), etc.  Those activities almost seem like catch-phrases or clichés these days.  However, there is profound peace that can be attained by practicing those activities.

Bonus! You do not have to be a professional meditator (meditater? tater? I do love potatoes) or yogi to practice yoga, meditation, and deep breathing.  Nope! It's actually best to start out small, Pick one of those for now and try it out for a few weeks.  There are lots of materials of on all three, and lots of FREE videos on all three practices:

Ekhart Yoga: lots of free yoga videos from beginner to advanced
Positive Magazine Meditation Relaxation Inspiration: a variety of Guided Meditations and other instructional videos on meditation ... you get to learn how to r e l a x. Bam! That's some homework I don't mind doing!

Even do a search for "deep breathing" on YouTube.com and you'll get a wide list of videos instructing you how to deep breathe (and for various benefits, too).

Onto the second link in question: www.De-stress.ca.  Yes, you read that correctly.   There exists a website called "de-stress." This is a Manitoba-based website with lots of resources and information on stress and how to do simple, manageable things to de-stress.  It's also free, in case you didn't catch that.

What about other resources? Google-magic gives us a plethora (I love that word) of resources. For example, following the search "how to stress less," the first few options include (again) very simple, manageable tricks to identify stress triggers and minimize their impact.  To boot, these resources come from a variety of areas: the fitness world, WebMD, a site geared toward women, the Psych realm of the interwebs, and plenty of others. Men, I did a search including "for men" and found one for the guys, too.  Equal opportunity (i.e. Feminism), baby!

Folks, I will caution you against biting off more than you can chew.  With all of this information, please consider where you are in your life and what you feel like doing.  It may only be that you are able to stop at lunch to take 3 deep breaths each day.  Once that becomes a habit (i.e. it becomes automatic for you), then think about what you want to incorporate next.  Baby steps will help you make new thing habits faster than taking on too much, doing it for a week, then giving up.

Let me know in the comments If there are other resources you've enjoyed or heard about that have helped you!

Bonus: I came across the following app (and website!) called Calm.com.  It's such a handy, comprehensive app to take meditations with you wherever you go.  And, they range from 2-30 minutes.  Everyone has 2 minutes in their day :). I got the app for free from the Amazon Marketplace (on my Blackberry Q10).

ENJOY!